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By Debra
Pachucki
Gifted children often become angry with
themselves for failing to meet impossible goals and unrealistic expectations.
Aggressive behavior is not uncommon in gifted
children. Feelings of frustration, anger and impatience can manifest in
different ways, and for different reasons. Learn about common causes for
aggressive behavior -- and other emotional difficulties -- in gifted children
so that you can better understand your child’s behavior and help him manage his
feelings accordingly. If aggressive behavior persists, consult a school
counselor, therapist or other child development professional.
Heightened Sensitivities
Gifted children often have heightened
sensitivities that are more intense than other children’s, according to Dr.
Wendy Roedell in her article, “Vulnerabilities of Gifted Children."
Heightened sensitivities often result in intensified or exaggerated reactions
to ordinary childhood problems, Dr. Roedell says. A gifted child may respond
aggressively to a seemingly insignificant issue -- getting an answer wrong on a
test or being unable to tie his shoes, for example -- as he experiences an
increased sense of frustration, anger or impatience over the situation. Provide
understanding, support, guidance and encouragement to help your child overcome
obstacles and emotions.
Social Difficulties
Gifted children are more likely to experience
social difficulties than their peers, according to research compiled by the
National Association for Gifted Children. Among these social difficulties is an
inability to disagree positively with others and a tendency to exhibit
inappropriate behavior. Gifted children may lose patience with class partners
or teammates quickly or become controlling toward their peers in a way that
comes across as aggressive to others. Teach your child the importance of
camaraderie and teamwork with family activities, such as completing household
chores or playing a board game together. Gifted children who are able to be
group-oriented and flexible are most successful in dealing with their peers.
Perfectionism
Many gifted children set goals for themselves
that are impossible to reach, which causes them to wrongly perceive themselves
as failures. They can quickly become frustrated with their own self-perceived
inabilities or inadequacies, and act out aggressively. Dr. Roedell recommends
providing specific feedback to children who act out in response to perceived
failure to redirect her focus toward improvement.
Other Adjustment Difficulties
While gifted children exceed their peers in some
developmental domains, they lag behind in others -- particularly in areas of
social and emotional development. Other adjustment difficulties that may cause
aggressive behavior in gifted children include the pressures of high adult
expectations, role conflicts and inappropriate environments. A child under the
stress of mastering a musical instrument as quickly as his parent expects, for
example, may act out frustration in the same way a gifted child trying to fit
in with peers of a lower-ability level would. The same holds true for a gifted
student who is stifled in a basic-level classroom. Expose your gifted child to
a variety of activities and peer interactions, assert reasonable expectations
and enroll her in appropriate academic and extracurricular programs where she
can be suitably challenged and shine.
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